Darren should have known I wanted the new hallway flooring rolled with a 100 pound roller; I said this several times before the project started. Nevertheless, I was rudely surprised on Thursday Morning May 16 to be told by Darren I needed to go down to Home Depot and rent the roller myself. He had found that they required a credit card, and so he could not do that. I hadn't gotten into my clothes yet and was accustomed to sleeping mostly during the daytime until he finished each day. Feeling a bit sleepy, I asked if he would drive me there. No, he didn't think that was good, he wanted to work on painting the trim, a job which required I keep the garage door open during my absence. I found a way to set my security system while leaving the garage door open. Darren said they would carry the roller to the car, so I wouldn't need him for that. When I got to Home Depot, they had a miserable looking roller, and they said I needed to carry it out myself, which I did.
All that was a bit annoying, but not actually a bad mark against Darren. It wasn't his fault that Home Depot required a credit card, though he should have known, and he could have been more sympathetic to my sleepiness on Friday morning. When I got back home Darren helpfully unloaded the roller from my car.
At the end of the day, just before Darren left, I asked if he would take the roller back to Home Depot for me. I said I had rented it for 24 hours so he didn't really have to return it the same day, though that would be nice. He said he would return it right away, that very afternoon. He agreed to return the roller with no argument or hesitation at all.
I took a mini vacation on Thursday May 23. On Friday Morning when I returned home, I found several messages on my answering machine from Home Depot. Fearing the worst, I called back, and found that the roller had not been returned. The corporate office couldn't say how much I would owe, they said only the store could tell me that. I was worried that I might owe as much as $1000 for the old cruddy roller plus back rent. I also worried whether Darren might claim he returned the roller, even if the store said otherwise.
So this was May 24 and I called Darren around 5pm. He said he was sorry he had not returned the roller yet, he had forgotten, but now he would do so right away. He said he would pay for any additional charges.
On Tuesday May 28, Home Depot corporate called again and said the roller still had not been returned. I called Darren immediately, that was about 11 AM. I only got an answering machine and left a message. When I got to work around 4:30 PM I called Darren again. Once again I got the answering machine and left a message.
Ten minutes later I called Tom, Darren's uncle, the experienced builder who suggested I have Darren do my hallway painting and flooring. Tom said he would take care of this.
Two minutes after calling Tom, I got a call from Darren, who said he was sorry for not returning the roller, but he had fallen off a ladder and hurt himself. But he was leaving to return the roller right away and would be responsible for all addtional charges.
The next morning, around 10:30 AM I got a call from Darren. He said he had just returned the roller, but had been unable to reverse all the charges on my credit card. He said I would be charged $77. I told him I had rented the roller for $22 for one day, so that I should be refunded $55. He immediately agreed and said he would come by with the money on Friday. He apologized saying that he had fallen off a ladder. I thanked him for his apology.
How would I score this?
Broke 3 promises to return roller immediately. (3 F's. F meaning do not use this guy again.)
I had to make 4 phone calls to Darren, then 1 to Tom, before getting this resolved. This should not have required any phone calls at all. (5F's) I also called Home Depot once but am not marking for that.
Gave lousy apology that was really an excuse. (I'll give example of apology later.) But why hadn't he returned the roller previously, such as on the very Thursday he originally promised to do so? That is not explained. Also, he could have simply called me and let me know about the roller issue. Was he too injured to use the cell phone? (1F for the lousy apology. Being nice, I ignored that the apology was lousy and fake and thanked Darren anyway.)
So I'm scoring this roller episode as 9 F's. His actual workmanship rated between A and D, and I probably would have hired him again if it wasn't for the roller episode.
This isn't even counting the number of days that went by (which I could have marked as 12 F's), the stress that I experienced after finding the roller hadn't been returned, stress that has not even entirely gone away.
It reminds me of how it was with Ronnie in 2011 trying to get the concrete slab for Lyndhurst poured. Ronnie made and then unceremoniously broke 3 promises to pour the slab, each time simply not showing up when promised. Then he didn't answer his phone. By that time had received $6700 in advance payments, meaning the slab portion of the project was already more than paid for. ($6700 for a 190 sq ft concrete slab.) 2 months had gone by since the project started, and Ronnie had been hitting me up for more money about every 2 weeks. I was getting nervous, so I called Angie's List for advice. Angie's List called Ronnie, then Ronnie got the slab poured the very next day. I resolved never to use Ronnie again, and wrote off about $1000 in excess advance payments beyond our agreed (and already outlandish) costs. Even on the concrete pouring day, he tricked me out of $100 for the nice quality wire mesh (he switched it with some horrible rusty stuff at the very last minute, saying he had sold the nice stuff, which had been sitting in my yard for a week, to someone else for $100, but the rusty stuff was fine--that was Ronnie, never missing a trick).
*****
Update: Darren never came by with the money on Friday. He did not leave the money. He did not call. It is now almost two weeks later, and he didn't mail the money. After losing sleep over this $55 for one day, I've decided not to bother again. If I called, I would call his uncle, and it would really be only for Darren's benefit. But how would I explain it? I spend a weekend after Darren didn't show up with the money thinking about what I would say to his uncle, only to reach that conclusion that it just wasn't worth it to me. I'll mention it to his uncle when and if I ever call him again, or if I talk with the electrical contractor who recommended the uncle.
It reminds me of how it was with Ronnie in 2011 trying to get the concrete slab for Lyndhurst poured. Ronnie made and then unceremoniously broke 3 promises to pour the slab, each time simply not showing up when promised. Then he didn't answer his phone. By that time had received $6700 in advance payments, meaning the slab portion of the project was already more than paid for. ($6700 for a 190 sq ft concrete slab.) 2 months had gone by since the project started, and Ronnie had been hitting me up for more money about every 2 weeks. I was getting nervous, so I called Angie's List for advice. Angie's List called Ronnie, then Ronnie got the slab poured the very next day. I resolved never to use Ronnie again, and wrote off about $1000 in excess advance payments beyond our agreed (and already outlandish) costs. Even on the concrete pouring day, he tricked me out of $100 for the nice quality wire mesh (he switched it with some horrible rusty stuff at the very last minute, saying he had sold the nice stuff, which had been sitting in my yard for a week, to someone else for $100, but the rusty stuff was fine--that was Ronnie, never missing a trick).
*****
Update: Darren never came by with the money on Friday. He did not leave the money. He did not call. It is now almost two weeks later, and he didn't mail the money. After losing sleep over this $55 for one day, I've decided not to bother again. If I called, I would call his uncle, and it would really be only for Darren's benefit. But how would I explain it? I spend a weekend after Darren didn't show up with the money thinking about what I would say to his uncle, only to reach that conclusion that it just wasn't worth it to me. I'll mention it to his uncle when and if I ever call him again, or if I talk with the electrical contractor who recommended the uncle.
*Here is a suggested apology:
"I am very sorry I did not return the roller right away as I promised the first time. I am especially sorry for the additional time and worry this has cost you. I will learn from this and do better, thanks to you and your patience."
A real apology should state the barest fundamental fact that is being apologized for. It should try to take the perspective of the person who is being apologized to, and the trouble she has been caused. It should not give external reasons for the failure (an excuse)...if any reasons are given at all (and it may be best without any reasons) they should relate to the apologizer himself--his own character--and be things about himself he promises to improve. It should relate gratitude to the person being apologized to for putting up with everything and living through it.
Of course, a real apology should also be sincere. A truly sincere apology would probably include all those things. Unfortunately, we can't easily judge sincerity. But it is not hard to understand what a real apology should be like. Any well raised child should already know, or any adult by the age of 25. What does it show when an apparently grown up person doesn't give a good apology?
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